Keeping tabs on the menty health abroad

If only depression could be cured by booking a flight to a tropical island for a week. *heavy sigh*You would think that is all it takes to pull you out of a rut. And it might, for a day, but that is not the reality. This is a conversation that I have had with my therapist numerous times. I find myself often in a funk when I am not traveling. I grow anxious the longer I stay at home, thinking I will be stuck here forever. As I am in the trenches of my own mind, I go right to Hopper and start looking for a practical flight to get me the hell out of there. Obviously this is not a sustainable or relatable fix to your problems. A flight is not a cure all. Speaking from personal experiences, if you are sad at home, you will still be sad on a beach in Thailand, it does not matter your location. That is not to say I do not feel happy when I travel even when I am not in the best place mentally. Trips fuel my soul and heart like no other and give me a sense of immense happiness. I am just saying you need to address your mental and emotional struggles before your trip in a healthy way. Nothing is worse than being hit with a wave of sadness that takes a moment away from your hard earned trip that is supposed to be refueling you. It’s hard to think that people can be miserable in these beautiful places while posting pictures with all of their new travel friends partying at their hostel bar, but it can absolutely be the reality. I’ll be the first to admit that I do not post the days where I am holed up in a hotel room for an entire day because I am anxious, overwhelmed, and everything in between. Does anybody want to see that? Do they? It always rubs me the wrong way when I hear someone say, “I just need to get away,” “I need to find myself.” And I am guilty of saying it as well. Especially after watching “Eat Pray Love.” However, that is a movie, and I need to remind myself of that. And yes everyone’s life is a movie, but you can’t always expect yours to have the same ending. Before you leave for a trip, clean up your own backyard a bit. Travel can be the most wonderful tool for learning about yourself and growing into the best version of yourself. But you cannot expect it to fix all of your problems. If it does, I am jealous of you. But for me personally, I can be sad anywhere, and I feel like most people can be as well. It can be one fleeting sad minute. But even that single minute is a reminder enough that when I get home, I have some inner work and healing I need to do. This is not to say that you shouldn’t travel until you have all of your shit together. Let’s be honest, that will never happen. It is just a word of advice for my first time travelers, especially to those who are booking these first time trips to find themselves. Drop the expectations. There is no need for them. Take what you need from the trip, have as much fun as you can, and try to get to know yourself better. Recognize the days you don’t feel like being social and understand the problems or issues that are weighing on you. I remember a conversation I had with the most magical human I have ever met in Australia. It was a normal conversation that ended in me in inconsolable tears agreeing to write my older sister a letter expressing myself about her impact on my life when I got home. Like wtf? I feel like that conversation alone was equal to ten therapy sessions. Then there was another time in Greece I was out to dinner with a group of girl friends that left me breathless when they told me my trauma was not my fault. It took everything in me not to weep over my grilled octopus. It is for these reasons that I believe everyone should travel, if they are in a stable condition. You will without a doubt meet people that will put your life into perspective. Just know, that not everyday will be perfect. You may even have a wave of sadness hit you while sipping a coconut on a beach chatting up a lifeguard. Don’t be alarmed. Let it hit you. Understand where it is coming from. It is within these extreme moments of clarity that can make you feel more grounded than ever. Take accountability for your feelings and work them out. Do not push them away. They will only follow you to your next country, and then the next, and the next. Traveling can absolutely heal parts of your soul, it has for me. But always acknowledge the parts it didn’t. It is possible to heal out of the comfort of your home. Crying in foreign countries can be spiritual awakening, but please recognize when you are needing more. And if you are one of those people who quits their job and leaves their country in a mess only to meet their soulmate in Italy and have all of their problems solved in a week with love and gelato….does he have a single brother? Uncle? Divorced father?